Disbelief Poem by Richard Betts

As I stand here in the chapel
Praying for God to grant you His peace,
A deluge of questions rains down,
But the answers provide no relief.

Was there something we should have said
Or anything we could have done?
By some tragic twist of fate,
Did you not feel the resiliency of our love?

Did the world's injustice haunt you?
Did the joy in your life erode?
As you walked among the masses,
Did you somehow feel alone?

Did the world lie to you?
And in return did you mistrust it?
Did life's absurdity,
Leave you feeling dirty and disgusted?

I recall your constant companions -
Your strength and a face that was brave.
Were you beseiged and overwhelmed
By some imperceptible wave?

Did you enjoy your time in our company?
Did you revel in your life's travels?
Where along the way
Did the world suddenly unravel?

Did life become so insufferable?
When did it become more than you could bear?
In the night, when you looked skyward,
When did faith finally fail?

I stand before you - empty and confused.
My strength is about to falter.
With shaking hands, I touch a smiling picture of you
And reset it gently on the altar.

As I wade through the emotions,
I am engulfed in a flood of grief.
As I bury my face into my hands,
I am overcome with disbelief.