Don't Ever Touch Your Willy After You Have Chopped A Chilli. Aka The Chilli Song Poem by John KENT

The wisest thing I think I ever heard my father say,

was 'Son, you are now twenty-one, you are a man today,

I think it's time to tell you what I think that you should know

and this applies all the time, wherever you may go'.



'Don't ever touch your willy after you have chopped a chilli

especially when you go and take a squirt,

for you will quickly see that it burns like hell to pee

and you will feel a great degree of hurt,

and for the pain you will endure you will never find a cure

and that's why I am warning you today,

don't ever touch your willy after you have chopped a chilli

or the pain you'll feel will take your breath away.'



So I heeded his advice and I never chopped nor diced

a chilli that might cause my willy pain,

but one night when at a party, I was a bit foolhardy

and I treated his advice with much disdain.

An older woman that I met - and one I'm not likely to forget

ate raw chilli's by the handful without pause,

then she took me by the hand and she led me to a room

where she taught me many things behind closed doors.



Now modesty forbid that I tell just what she did

- how many times or what she did with what,

but it wasn't too much later when I got a little tingle

and my lower head began to get quite hot.

If only I had known the effects of being blown

by a woman eating chillies was the same,

as taking willy out and lighting up the gas

and sticking his head right into the flame.



As I lay upon the floor with poor willy in my hands

fighting back the tears of love gone wrong,

I knew I had to do my best to help to spread the word

which is why I quickly went and wrote this song.

Every guy, everywhere, needs to know and be aware

the effects from having sex is sometimes bad,

but it will save you lots of pain and an awful lot of grief

if you just heed the sage advice from my wise Dad.



'Don't ever touch your willy after you have chopped a chilli

especially when you go and take a squirt,

for you will quickly see that it burns like hell to pee

and you will feel a high degree of hurt,

and for the pain you will endure you will never find a cure

and that is why you really must refrain,

so don't ever touch your willy after you have chopped a chilly

or you may never feel like having sex again! '






15/4/10 ©