Don'T Open Your Eyes Poem by Robin Pratt

Stay still
keep them tightly shut
keep your head buried
make it stay dark.

Oh God what happened this time
in that dark day
one thing led to another
one drink to the next and the next

My eyes are burning in their sockets
a wall of shame made from big concrete blocks
shields me from the reality of my behaviour
my outrageous actions

How do I know it was bad -
embarrassing, degrading, shaming, aggressive and fowl in every way
simple - it always is
It only takes one little drink, or whatever floats your departure from reality.

That's it - one - the first one!
No others matter
If there is no first one, there is no second
and life just hurts, your reality just gnaws at your soul.

And there is the fear, the inadequacy,
the knowing that life has no glittering prizes for you.
Just glittery nausea
And that set of memories waiting behind your eye lids.

But bit by bit, layer by layer it seeps from your oblivious to your conscious.
Those magic moments where life goes straight off that cliff edge
from fun to lunacy
from lunacy to those looks from people near you and the very worst

the fear and shame and tears from those who love you
despite
the fact
you are utterly worthless..............as you are.