Drowning - Poem by grace mariner
What protects you now may destroy you later.
Those treasures call you away from me,
leaving me drowning, drowning, drowning.
The closer I came, the further from my reach you became.
No outstretched hand as I sink into my dark pool of emotion,
murky and tainted by so much loss
I want you to join me in my despair.
Losing you is like losing myself.
The self that I never knew existed until you held the mirror.
But you remain strong, stoic, silent.
You watch me submerge with no emotion.
Can't your eyes see?
Can't your ears hear?
Can't your heart feel?
That dam you built within keeps all emotion tucked safely away,
packed up with those demons that haunt your waters from other lives
misspent in youthful folly and evil endeavors...
loss, regrets, betrayals.
But they will seep and creep and find a way to reach the part of you that you feel is invincible,
And you will feel it as you recall the soft lushness of my body,
the heat and smell of my dark perfume,
my wet mouth rising to meet yours,
moaning as my body hardens and flows for you.
Your eyes will see my green eyes flash.
Your ears will hear me whisper and moan your name.
And your heart will know the loss of perfect love.
That dam that protects you now will break into a million tiny pieces,
leaving you drowning, drowning, drowning.
But now our time is short and you move with your usual elegance.
And as I try to carve the image of that face into my unraveling brain, the demons shriek and cackle.
You remain beautiful, calm, controlled,
as I become more haggard, fragmented, and chaotic.
You cannot give me what I need which is your pain,
your dam is too sturdy, too well built.
My pain is written on my face.
I scream it to the world as you stay silent.
So I grieve now at knowing you will leave for all the world to see.
And I will grieve knowing you are gone for all the universe to see.
And you will grieve silently now but only for a moment.
Your treasures will bring you joy for a time.
But on that day that your dam bursts,
on that day you are drowning, drowning, drowning,
look around you.
You will see my outstretched hand.
I will be there to help you cross over.
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