Druid Prom Queen Poem by Mark Nichols

By Mark Nichols & Bob McAllister

In the fog of ancient time
When dragons whirled in air
And Grendel stalked the moors
A woman lived
She talked in skyldings and misgivings
Secret ruins, cults and shivings
Only women seemed to understand her

They called her Helga
From Gruselda

She was a Druid prom queen
A most amazing sight
She was six foot eight
And, Dude, she could fight
She spoke her mind for justice
And womyns rights
She was a Druid prom queen
That's right
She was a Druid prom queen
And this was her night

There was a law at this time which said
'Once a year on Jousting Day
A man of royal blood could challenge the king
So on this fateful night, it was King Percy,
Who the peasants called 'The Noodle'
Who would take this royal test

As the Jousting was about to start
The Queen silenced the crowd
And the Druid Prom Queen said unto them...

People, my people
Your ways are modern and Medieval
Too sophisticated for a little Druid girl.
This patriarchal fascination
With killing is not a turn-on
So I've come up with a new challenge

One that does not harm the environment
And is mostly non-violent in nature
The challenge consists of approaching the king on a horse
And asking him to dance like it's his one last dance

The king says will then say no
The challenger will then throw
A black corsage in his face
And after this disgrace
The challenger will step on the king's toe

(See, this is like what happened to me as a young girl,
Before the Stonhenge High School Prom
And it is an allusion to that event
For which I am remembered now)

Anyway, I'm the queen so you'll do it
And so please remember me as a woman who freed minds and hearts Mantra, mantra, kundalini ya ya, yoga mat gucci do the chakra cha cha. Namaste.

And THAT is how it came to be
This particular festivity

She was a Druid prom queen A most amazing sight
She was six foot eight and, Dude, could she fight
She spoke her mind for justice and womyns rights
She was a Druid prom queen
She was a Druid prom queen
And this was her night