Ecstasy Of Knowing Poem by Patti Masterman

Don't do those little things
You always do to me; you know
That look, that half-smile, with the closing eyelids
The hint of a smirk, the tilt of the head.

It's unfair, I've got only eyes and ears
Full of you, and you have the whole universe
Of well conceived temptations, to lure me in,
Open-mouthed fish that I am, to be baited by your sly styles.

You offer all the desirable things a woman could lust for,
Lust and never be satisfied, forever in the understanding
That you surely have other smiles and other poses, for other women
In unknown eras, different climates and panoramas.

I can only try to hold onto the parts of you I know,
Recognize it is futile trying to capture all the invisible things
Though doubtless they are all there,
Just beneath your fleeting expressions.

And you are the clever sophisticate
And I am all trembling schoolgirl
Having forgotten the things I once took for granted.

Now look at me again, this time with a blank look,
And let me see it slowly fill in, with the essence of you,
So slowly that I can see every year, wrinkle of growth,
Every change and sign of maturing, like a tree's rings.

I want to know all your weathers,
Want to let the rainbow fill up with your humors;
The world swell shut or empty out on your whim.

I want to be made pregnant
Entirely with the incredible idea of you're existing;
Because the real ecstasy of knowing you, is one that I can almost-
But not quite- touch.