There once was a spaceship captain named Ted.
And also a spaceship captain named Ed.
Ted had a speedy, tidy neat ship.
He had a chair. He had a bed.
He had switches to flip.
He had a food replicator
And a 2 way communicator.
That was all that he carried.
That was all that he brought.
'A ship ought to be tidy and taught! '
Ed's ship had all those things too.
And a few things more. Well,
Rather more then a few.
He had bolts. He had screws.
He had glop. He had ooze.
He had snails. He had eels.
He had bananas. They had peels.
He had papers. He had books.
He had niches. He had nooks.
He had raisins. And bread.
He had tofu, had Ed.
He had a copilot/wife
(Edwina, her name)
And all of their life
The mess was the same.
They had penguins. And squirrels.
Little boys. Little girls.
Wolf spiders and flies,
Hang gliders and ties.
They had Wook-Took-a-Zookers
And Aquarium Glookers.
'Cause Ted liked to travel with less,
But Eds like to travel with mess!
'You are silly, Ed.
All that stuff bogs you down.
You're being a slob.
You're being a clown! '
Ted was right, too.
The stuff bogged down Ed's ship,
Kind of like glue.
It slowed down Ed too,
'Cause all the stuff
Was hard to wade through.
But one day by a fluke,
They dropped the bomb
And the Earth was nuked.
No one left. No one home.
Ted and Ed were on their own.
Because when they came back from Procoyon,
To their surprise, their world was gone!
With no more fuel they were stuck there-
Cause Ed's tanks were filled with junk,
And Ted's were filled with air.
Several days later their heaters broke.
Ed's family wore coats and burned papers.
The biomass kept his spaceship warm.
But Ted got chilly and got the vapors.
Several weeks later their bolts got loose.
Ed tightened his up and fixed 'em with glues.
Ted's bolts just kept getting looser and looser
Because he didn't bring wrenches and didn't brings gluesers.
Several months later their food replicators broke.
Ed's family ate their raisins and bread.
And they grew veggies in dirt.
But Ted got hungry instead.
A couple days later their oxygenators blew.
Ed's family and penguins breathed the air
From the plants that they grew.
Moral: Complexity is good.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.