Eighteen Candles Blown Out Poem by Silence Dogood

It seemes it's been forever.
Since we last shared a word.
An eternity of silence.
Since from you I had heard.

And I wish I could change that.
And be closer to you.
So that now maybe I'd feel whole.
And less hurt too.

But I can't move mountains.
Or change what happened weeks ago.
And I feel so helpless so hopeless.
So out of control.

When all you wanted was eighteen years.
A number you just couldn't reach.
Killed at seventeen.
With only a few days breach.

A number too small.
For any girl to die.
One thats left family.
With tears in their eyes.

For you were only one digit.
Off of eighteen years.
The age you desired.
More than anything here.

But we will always remember.
And in our heart you will grow.
Each birthday you'll get older.
As long you know.

That we miss you so much.
And we care so much more.
Your a death a tragedy.
That hits to the core.

For now that your gone.
it's hard to even breathe.
The weight of your loss.
Crushing down upon me.

And though I don't show it.
I'm huting inside.
The tears I held back.
From the moment you died.

They flow free in secret.
Behind closed walls and locked doors.
Where none can see the pain.
That I can't bear anymore.

For this burden of sadness.
Weighs heavy on all.
And my held back tears.
Have begun to fall.

Like a dam breaking loose.
Or a storm blown away.
I know this will hurt.
But it'll all be okay.

It'll just take some time.
I should be use to such things.
For I've lost much already.
But now you have wings.

And on the wings of an angel.
You will contiue to fly.
Up into the heavens.
Where the good people die.

Good people like you.
Who don't deserve hell.
People who understood me.
People I could tell.

Of the sadness I'm feeling.
And what I'm going through.
Because I missed out on so much.
Out on so much with you.



Dedicated to Angie Espeche 1991-2008