Eternity In Global Warming Poem by Donal Mahoney

A clerk in a health food store
became upset when I said
I didn't see anything I wanted
since I wasn't a vegan
or vegetarian and liked my
red meat rare and dripping.

She said I needed to know
Nature is God and
Satan is Climate Change
and if I didn't eat right
I would spend Eternity
in Global Warming.

I went back to the counter,
apologized with all my heart,
and said I would like to buy
the biggest hand fan in stock.