Even Dreams Are Not Enough. Poem by Criscentia Jessica Setiadi

I am worried about every single thing I shouldn't be worried about.
To once recall what you have said and promised;
my heart shivers even harder.
Not being your one and only is the problem, to think of.
Though, you're not my one and only either; I lied.
I am a hitch; someone who puts glories over others' love lives
but fails her heart in such trusting issues.

I have lots and loads of questions to ask, I know you'll be upset.
If I didn't write them down, just to have a look of you, they would've gone away.
In the end, I'd crumple the paper; not dare enough to.
Do you know just how much my heart shrieks whenever they're around you?
I'd die for love. Oh, I'd die.
Falling tears are now my friends; smiles are my fake ones.
Even dreams are not enough.

Listen. I can hear the air flowing right to my ears.
The breathing, the voice of ones I might know about:
'Stop questioning his love, my dear. Something good will happen.'
Wishful! Aah, then I remembered, they can feel what I feel.
I can smell you sometimes: a second of a day.
I cry so easily in the bathroom, along with the water I used to cover my tears.
Then I close my eyes; hoping I'll be awaken somehow.