Expectations Poem by Tabitha D'Souza

She looked out of the window
There was sadness in her eyes
The pain that he had given her
She just could not despise.

How could he leave without regret?
Was she that easy to forget?
After knowing how she would feel
How u could he be so unreal?

It rained now through her mesmerizing eyes
How he hated it if for anyone she ever cried
Today its different he’s in their place
She’s drowning in her solitude with no one to embrace.

He very well knew that she never expected
He always told her he was amazed
She felt that he deserved all
Until she got rejected by him
This she did not expect at all.

Strange thoughts ran through her mind
Those memories were too many
They could not be pushed behind
Deep down she knew she was strong
But she didn’t expect him to be away so long.

It had been half a day now
She sat patiently at her window pane
Reminiscing their moments of togetherness
Her thoughts were driving her insane.

He should have been here by now
Little did she realize that
After not expecting even call
She expected him to be back after all.
He would call whenever he pleased
It often depended on his mood
He did care for her in his own way
But today he was unexpectedly rude.

When the summers would come
Bringing warm afternoons
They would share a siesta
Till the sky revealed the moon.

An alarm sounded from the kitchen
And she finally got up from her chair
She removed the cake from the oven
And kept it on the table with care.

She fixed her eyes on the cake that she had baked for him
How he loved to consume it all
He praised her for all she did
No, she just couldn’t let this fall.

Time passed and darkness began to fall
She made an attempt to give him a call
The line was dead and silence spoke
She sat on the floor and wept- the silence broke.

No, hope must not fade away
She said to herself time and again
But yet she could not
Fathom all this pain.

Deep inside she felt regret
Regret for all what she had said
Had she been quiet even today
Things wouldn’t be this way.




But fate brought the unexpected
Something that she wished would stay
Today she had to face it
All she could do was pray.

The start studded sky looked back at her
How they walked hand in hand across the lonely street
How when the moonlight played across their shadows
They would run and hide and souls would meet.

No not today she thought
The street was crowded enough
Where has he gone she wondered?
This day has been so rough.

When the clock struck ten she closed the window
Her hopes already half dead
The tears stopped
Leaving those big eyes swollen and red.

She looked at herself in the mirror
Oh! What a mess! ! She thought
He always loved her smile
But today she just could not.

The reflection spoke for itself
She didn’t deserve what she got
Yet she was calm and composed
She often missed a lot.

He was a man of few words
Though his actions spoke a lot
She would often read his mind
And sense his unspoken thoughts




All of a sudden the lights went out
And the clouds gathered together
How he handed her his jacket when it rained
She still could smell that leather.

She lit an candle and made her way
Across the hall to the window pane
As she looked out of the window
She could sense the smell of rain.

The day was almost over
And she sensed the unexpected
She kept all the memories close
She felt heavy in her head.

As night approached silently
She sat beside the window pane
With her head against the wall
Her face wet with the rain.

When the morning tiptoed
And the sun kissed her face
She woke up and found herself covered with a blanket
Made of her favourite lace.

As she walked towards the kitchen
She noticed the cake was gone
She sensed happiness inside
She was not alone.

Her heart started beating hard
As she ran to her room so glad
He would surely be there she thought
Maybe yesterday was just bad.




But the room, it was empty
And she felt it all strange
The doorbell rang interrupting her thoughts
So clear yet out of her range.

She opened the door with courage
To find him standing there
To her surprise it was a small parcel
Saying “handle it with care”

As she opened the parcel in silence
And wondered where he’d been till now
The room was filled with his perfume
She wondered why and how.

As she lifted the white cloth
From the box that she held
A strange feeling creeped through her
Her eyes, they welled.

It was the same showpiece
The Dove that they both liked
Once they joked that they’d gift it
If either of them died.

She sat on the floor
The silence now broken by her loud cry
How could he leave her alone?
Why did he have to die?

A small note caught her eye
At the corner of the Dove
She recognized that perfumed paper
The one she used to love.




With trembling fingers she opened it
And through her swollen eyes she read-
“Darling, You gave me love unconditional
You built your faith in me
You put me on a pedestal
You loved me so truly.
I don’t deserve this all
Because I never did try
So Sweetheart accept this token of love
For its time for me to say Goodbye”