Fall Behind Poem by Kerri White

I always fall behind
in some aspect of not being ahead
Though I'm not really sure where I'm supposed to be,
somewhere, somehow I guess I just fit in here.

Sometimes it seems as though I could mold myself
to any shape to make myself fit neatly in this space
so everyone will forget about me
and just assume this is where I belong.

Other times I feel like I am lucky
that this space I'm in is a Godsend
and I honestly couldn't function in any other role,
and if I forced a change upon myself I'd be jealous of my past.

There are days when days seem like they should faulter,
let go of their future offspring with such a willing ease
If today is the last, there would be no expectation to live up to,
no dissapointment to deal with, no painful additions to the painful creations thus far.

There are also nights that must remain just as they are for me to remain just as I am.
Sometimes it's better to settle than regret; sometimes you can live without learning
and sometimes it honestly seems to be better off that way.