Falling In To Myself Poem by Muskan Malik

Have you ever saw a spider
Trying to reach its home
Doing so much efforts to climb
Again and again
But falling every time
Humans also do the
Same thing
When they search for home
When they try to reach a place where they can feel peace
But they fall again and again
But how much will you try
When every time you fall
You are hurt somewhere
Or maybe everywhere
And u don't know where it hurts the most
Every time i fall from the height
To the lowest parts of life
Where I am left with dark
The darkness inside resists me
From all the bright parts of life
When every time I fall i feel something
That I am unable to express
And sometimes I feel nothing
Maybe the pain is so strong that it kills
My ability to feel
But at the end of it
I think about it a lot
And ask myself
Why do I try to search for home
Outside myself?
Maybe the home is inside myself
Always waiting for me to come and stay
But I remained too disconnected with myself
That I never came to me
But I went to everyone
For peace and for acceptance
But remained disappointed at the end
My soul remained peace less
Unfit for the homes that they have made
Maybe because the only home that I belong to first
Before all the other places
Is my own heart that I never looked at
Yeah we all need people to love us
The way that we want
The way that we deserve
But I decided to love myself first
Before I expect others to love me