Feeling, Colour And Meaning Poem by Margaret Alice Second

Cannot see myself doing routine work today
cannot understand why this life on this planet
in this universe, feeling spiritually blind means
I cannot find a reason to do boring things - yet
my body breathes mindlessly, I am the ghost in
the machine seeking wisdom and insight as I can-
not feel anything and nothing has inherent priority

I simply follow the dictates of time to move through
this day to get to the end in order to be at leisure to
wonder some more, the day becomes one long maths
sum and I cannot do it, religion and spiritualists teach
we know the answers in advance and work backwards
from the end back to the beginning where I am sitting
now, but this knowledge does not help, I am still stuck

With a brain that cannot fulfil its function of relating to
the reality outside its own enclosure, my mind only exits
in short explosive flames of understanding which imme-
diately disappears leaving the inner me in darkness, I
love the ability to enact stories and plays yet cannot
create a script for today, left with shadows only I
long for feeling, colour and meaning