Felt Poem by John Kipling Lewis

Felt

Rating: 4.1


Unmortored brick wall,
ivy pushing block from
crack, there we hid and
played.

Our secret fort,
twice invaded.

Once by a girl.
Once by jealousy.

Two decades pass and the
fortress remains, the invasions
destroying our esprit de corps.

I fold our hand sewn felt flag
and lay it upon your grave,
formally as my military
training has taught me.

I salute you properly,
as I would another soldier.

While you waited back here,
did I hope I would simply die?

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
K Holoholo 05 November 2007

You lose me at the start but then the rest drew me in. I just think the start needs to be redone, to make it a perfect 10.

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Kath Moore 05 November 2007

7. This has details and images, so it works more. It could use even stronger details and images, but it's a good start. Side note: proper spelling is 'unmortared.'

0 0 Reply
Donna Robertson 03 August 2007

Another good one. Keep it up!

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