Fettered Freedomby Mudienyi Wa Mushira Poem by CHRISTOPHER MUDIENYI

These scars are still crystal clear,
They remind me of that star so dear,
The star that wanted to shine so clear,
Time that has swiftly flown,
By the winds fiercely blown,
Time well spent on the pavilion,
All thrown to the depth of oblivion,
On this pavilion of oblivion.

We went to this beautiful orchard,
Even though it looked so awkward,
I timidly handed her a beautiful orchid,
And she reticently giggled like a little kid,
Then she gave me this lovely red rose,
My mind went wild without pause,

This fresh fragrance of the red rose,
The smell of greed creed it arose,
A juxtaposition of apathy and empathy,
The stunning pain and sweltering pleasure,
The gratifying drain and the expeditious pressure,
And lo! That excruciating diminutive pain,
The pain of the pricking thorn on the red rose,
The beautiful pain from which I would gain,

What never belonged to me, I enjoyed,
Those who deserved it, I always annoyed,
I was totally entangled, not to be freed,
In this wreckage mangled, just because of greed,
I essentially thought I had absolute freedom,
But I was shackled in my invented freedom,

My destined bondage in freedom,
I wanted to savor the King's freedom,
But this was all futile,
She could not imagine that I was fertile,
To go it alone and actually make it,
She wanted to be with me to make it,

Her laughter echoes all around me,
And she's the only thing that I can see,
The ghost of her memory haunts me here,
I close my eyes and shed a tear,
I can still remember it all,
I craved for a lone time again,
She said I would get it with a pain,


I open my eyes and try to see the world,
But still I only see her,
Even though I am on my own,
On this pavilion of oblivion

In my hand, I hold a knife,
The decider between life and death,
But what's my take?
I picture her smile, I hear her voice,
The question is clear but what's my choice?

She's everywhere, I try to look,
Holding the pieces of me that she took,
She's the only one I'd ever let in,
And she has refused to let me go,
She was my queen, my whole universe,
She was my everything,
That bully that left me broken all alone,
On this pavilion of oblivion.

And this is the last place where she remains,
Because it's here, that her memory stains,
It's here even though I am on my own ‘
On this pavilion of oblivion

This is my choice and this is what I choose,
She is the battle that I wish to lose,
I will get up and fight again,
So this is it, my final sin.

I cut it deep through the vein,
I bleed out but I feel no pain,
It subsides, it fades away,
Even the pain does not care to stay,

I hold the blade against my chest,
I tell myself it's for the best,
The world blurs,
It's getting harder to see,
My heart slows, I can barely breath,

When morning comes,
They won't find the lifeless body,
Because it is the scars I embody,
Scars that scarred my body,
A lesson to each and everybody