Fiftennitude Poem by Amouta Stardancer

I feel it coming for me,
fate, it’s running,
raging, rampaging,
all I can do is sit,
as I feel it’s footsteps,
walk the miles before it,
count the minutes as they fall,
so ready for something different,
so afraid of change.
I don’t know what is coming,
over the earth,
on the wind,
I can sense it, I can smell it,
but all it gives me,
is nervous apprehension.
Going about my standard life,
under the chains,
binding family,
to school, to work, to home,
to the rehearsed,
recounted, relived routine.
Day to day,
more tired than the last,
moving toward a weekend,
that no longer replenishes me,
no meaning exists,
I’m done with this place,
with what it can teach me,
only empty books,
comprise my education.
I need to act,
on my morals, my principles,
pave my life.
And yet I am a child,
wrapped in a security blanket,
that’s slowly, and deliberately,
crushing, squeezing, sucking,
the air from my lungs,
restraining, restricting,
my movements,
I am begging for fate,
to free me,
and I am dreading,
the day I am tossed,
into this perilous world,
headlong, a questionable parachute,
will it open, will it save me,
or will I fall short?
Still it draws ever near,
threatening, promising,
a driver’s license, and a part-time job,
freedom,
from all I ever knew,
and hated, and loved,
opening the door,
through which my greatest,
most wonderous dreams may come,
or worst, most dreadful,
nightmares may exist,
when before I was potential,
I will be.
This is all I ever wanted,
and the thing I most fear.
So I am sitting,
aching, dreading, begging,
in agony waiting,
for my ticket,
my license, my job,
my college acceptance letter,
my career,
my life to begin.