Finding My Heart Poem by Tessa Eichhorst

How come when I want something I
try to set my heart to it? But what does
my heart really want? In most situations
you're told to go with your heart. Now
a days my heart's so mixed up, my head
could make irrational choices; choices
that could hurt myself and others.

Everytime I come close to someone
I protect my heart and play mind games
instead. But how can I protect something
that screws me up so much; doesn't seem
like it's there? All these years I've tried to
filter out what I want from them; from life.
In this last month, my heart has thought
so much and tried making decisions, I
no longer know what to believe. For awhile
I thought what I wanted was a solid choice,
but now it's changed. It's left my head
racing and my heart spinning out of control;
I don't know what I desire.

I now have so much to filter out, my head's
on overdrive and my heart on overload.
I've created so many ideas, I'm afraid my
heart will lead me in the wrong direction;
I'll choose the wrong path.

Hopefully I'll be able to find my real heart
soon and put this all behind me. If what
has flustered me for so long is my heart,
why can't I fix it now, the time when I need
steady emotions most. All I want is some
clarity in my life, and to find my real heart.