Fireflies In Darkness Poem by Stephanie Starr

I see one.
Swirling through the darkness, undefeated.
Showing the hidden, the unwanted, the barren.
The first light
I see in the night.
As I reach out to catch it
I suddenly think of you……
A memory, a moment in time
At a party, late, dusk has fallen
And so have we as we lie there, away from the music
To listen to the natural melodies of our own
Sifting through endless topics together
Side by side
Away from the world
Yet facing it

I freeze, and the precious light slips away
What made me think of you?
You are no light, and yet you blind me with rays
Of cool and sparkling sun, warming me
And I could not catch the fire
Because I cannot catch you
I shake off the memory that quaked my core
And look the for the light again
There it is,
Close the ground
I kneel down, inching closer and closer
It flies up and I look up……
And suddenly you are there
Your hand extending to mine
Laughing, asking me if I’m okay
I was that day
I’ve missed you so, the curves of your face
The strength in your eyes
I reach past your hand and toward your face
But as my fingers touch your skin
You disappear and the darkness reappears

Were you a mirage of painless memories?
Were you just my Novocain?
I must forget the past, forget you
I must go toward a new light
And with a steel determination
I set out to find the light
The fire within me matches the fire I’m following
And yet I am swallowing
All the truth that I know
But I can’t let go
To my connection to a new path without you
I near two, sparks flying through the air
I reach for one, and all at once
The spark distinguishes
I blindly reach for the other
And it too, dies without my concent
And all at once I see
What you mean to me
The light is you
Emitting from your soul
And I cannot catch you and hold you forever
You are hard to forget
But still harder to keep
You took everything from me
And left me with my memories
Why can’t I leave you?
Why can’t I forget you?
But I go toward the light, and you are the light
To let you go would be trying to stop the flow
Of natural life, for you are with me
Forever and eternity
And since you will not let me see
Just past my fingers
I will be spotless, polished so
But emptier than words can know
My days of darkness do not end
But I will ask you once again
Don’t take away my light, this time I won’t touch it

One firefly glows, and I follow it with my eyes
Then two and three show up
And four and five…
And suddenly my world is alive
Bursting with fireworks that all remind me of you
What can I say? What else is there to do?
I reach my arms up to the sky
And spin in the moonlight, my soul open wide
I capture the light in a new way
It floods into my bloodstream, ray after ray
I hope you hear me
This is for you
I hope you see me
I see you.