First Cigarette Poem by Saydra Basta

The dizzying rush of a burning secret
Forces me to sit down with the demon that brought me here
But for now she is pleasant company
A welcome parasite
Everyone else is gone
Alone with the ashen breath wafting through me
Sheilded from the dark by a small dim glow
That will lead me on this path of destruction
Death was never before so sweet and bold
Deliciously dangerous
My head floating, my body grounded
The addiction is not merely the nicotine
But only just a taste of yet
A small sample of mortality
I wrapped the rest in a plastic bag
And hid it in my bottom drawer
Threw out the tainted fabric that was staining my skin with the damning scent
Washed my face, brushed my teeth
A cleansing, say, burning the evidence
Withholding the judgement I know to come
Shame lingers like smoke
But I can't wait until I meet the fiery demon again
How she'll cling to my throat and threaten me so menacingly
How I'll love it
Truth be told I can't be bothered
With worrying whether I live or die
Dying slowly is faster than staying alive
I hope she burns me alive like I've done her
From the earth it came
And to there she will send me
We're one in the same
Smoldering, flickering, wading through the air
Before disappearing
Altogether