Five Star Restaurant Poem by Randy Johnson

My arms, legs and ribs have been broken and I'm wearing a neck collar.
It happened when I went to a five star restaurant and was charged three hundred dollars.
All my wife and I had were a couple of steaks.
When I told the owner that I didn't have enough money, a lot of bones started to break.
He dumped a pot of linguini and clams over my head and then jabbed me in the nuts with a fork.
He burned my hands on his stove and I started crying like a little dork.
He started beating me and he wouldn't quit.
He beat me so hard that it made me shit.
You may be laughing at me, you may think it's funny.
But you won't find it so amusing if you ever go to that restaurant without enough money.