Flower Buds-Skylar's Story Poem by Lonnie Hicks

She said:

'I live sometimes on the Bitter Edge
and peer out,
stretching my arms;

I'll never really jump
but
the abyss below
excites me.
Then
I withdraw
retreating from the Leap
to be
that quiet me,
reserved.

I live sometimes and sip
hatefulness
because I have become used to it;
It's my familiar brew.

I am sometimes all alone;
its part of my identity now.

I wonder tremblingly
how I can re-trace
my steps
back to what
some have
called my Old Happy Self.

The Edge is pain.
I understand it's so;
so pain now seems stronger
than that scant happiness in my past.

This war rages;
Edgeness and Past Happiness
both ooze into my consciousness
at odd hours.
I feel them in the 3am Struggle Hour

where Edge makes the surge
and Happiness cowers
where Happiness sometimes
dissolves
surging Edge demons
who sulk and retreat
making promises
next night to be
again in the Warring Mix.

So I will sit here metaphorically
and see the blood
dripping free-
dripping into that crimson abyss
that so attracts me.

He said:

Is it fear that grips you;
that prevents you from
backing away from the Edge
that harms you.?

Where are you in the War For Your Soul?
You are the third factor
which could prove decisive.

You are not the Edge or the Happiness;
you are the human who can direct
the ebb and flow.
You are the Captain of your own Soul
not the cork floating.


suppress the urge to cowardice
and say:
I really prefer to stand on
Happy Ground;

because you know
you will not
find Light in Darkness.

He said:
Dark is a branch-less tree
solo standing
in a waterless sea;
it has no roots;
its a single barren pole
silhouetted against gray sky;
but add just a little light beam
and flower buds peek out
their little heads
and ask which direction to high sky;
don't tell them to go back down
to Dark Ground
they are buds
and they need light.

So do you.

Do this over and over again
til one day
you'll be Dark only sometimes;

but most times
you'll learn to walk in the Light,
little flower buds
at your feet.