For Joji On Terminal Cancer (Revised) Poem by RIC BASTASA

i have no courage to see her.
But i imagine that she is bald,
and in pain, and always taking
those pain relievers.
I imagine that.
Who knows, i may be wrong.
Not all cancers are painful. Perhaps.
But most cancers are painful.
That bone, that marrow,
the pain that lingers even in the
middle in the night when everyone
would be soundly sleeping with
their loved ones.
I have seen those with brain cancers
how they hit their heads on
the cemented walls
to ease the pain
those bloated stomachs
afflicted with liver cancer.

Cancer is pain. And Joji must
be suffering it by now.
She must be bald
for her locks of hair
must have fallen to the pillow
part of that
chemotherapy side effects.

But i think i know Joji.
She is a strong woman
with a sense of humor
with laughter always on
her face
she has the will to be herself
despite the sickness
till death, perhaps,
i know that she will not change
i know that she will not
let the cancer defeat her
innate goodness
her confidence to herself
her faith in God
i know that she will always
be smiling
not minding the pain
and the uncertainties.
I know that she is not
afraid.

Upon saying all these
to comfort her
in her Face-book Account,
it is me
who fears most,
for after all,
i may not be able to live
what i am
saying to her.

God! Oh God!
Have mercy upon us all!