Fractured Idioms-8/11/12 - Poem by Lonnie Hicks
get the lead out
What happens when one brings a knife to a gun fight
lose touch with reality
What? Reality has been touched? Security!
nothin' to it
play devil's advocate
Why do people think that the devil needs a lawyer?
Bedroom romp for two
be out of one's mind
Say it with me: politicians, bankers and corporations
keep oneself to oneself
Extreme selfishness among schizophrenics
Take the Spear
Javelin-catching while blindfolded-The toughest of all of the Olympic sports
roll with it
What you get with a 'fresh pair of eyes' at good restaurants
A big broom and tiny Lilliputians
before you know it
Sudden event prior to not knowing
Typo-switch the 'p' and the 'e' and take out the 't' when women invite one another to the bathroom
sit on hands
Strongly advised for young boys at the prom.
take a gander
Watches cannot walk. Of that I am sure
be as thin as a rake
Olsen twins on lawn care
in the bull pen
A bad idea for a matador
Give it to me straight
Never say this to a person with a bow and arrow or to one's lover late at night. Never turns out good.
Luckily I have two
Old fashioned expression now only used by baby boomers who have been out drinking all night
Children listening to their baby boomer parents use 60's expressions
two hoops and a holler
Looking at the monthly bills
Cheap breast augmentations
throw for a loss
Politician-tossing is wildly popular and almost always results in a loss of brain function, which is now obvioius among politicians
be on the fritz
Those addicted to carbonated beverages
Birds hate this
A mouse with no teeth uses this expression often
Naked dangling is illegal in 25 states
in his wisdom
Ancient Vikings believed that the brain resided in the back teeth and some people to this day still believe it.
kick up heels
Kick up is a special game for elevating philanders
in the end
Sometimes lovers breaking up will say 'fold this five times and stick it where the sun don't shine meaning…
I don't want no body fluctuating on me. No sir.
Sitting on a younger brother until he squeals.
do the dishes
Sadly many men believe that doing the dishes causes cancer
can't say as I do
Typo-the 'as' is eliminated revealing a phobia many men have
doors open up
3am at the local bar
live high off the hog
And the hogs are really upset about this demanding back rent.
Missing at the urinal
a ménage à trios
Refers to all French films
shoot the bull
The act of a desperate matador
Comments about Fractured Idioms-8/11/12 by Lonnie Hicks
Read this poem in other languages
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
Still I Rise
The Road Not Taken
If You Forget Me
Edgar Allan Poe
Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening
I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You