Linda Hepner

Veteran Poet - 1,186 Points (London)

Fruity Salad - Poem by Linda Hepner

The quality of fruity is not strained,
It choppeth at the knife edge on the peaches,
And falleth into bowls in which contained
Are apples, plums, bananas, berries, lychees.

But should it stand around a day or two
It drippeth and it drowneth fresh cut melons
And fizzeth and fomenteth as a stew
Respondeth with a taste far worse than lemons.

Thy tongue withdraws and tingly is thine throat
and disagreeable is foaming at thy mouth,
while succour stayeth far and quite remote
until thy thoughts fly up and ye go south.

So let this be to greedy men advice
To chop up fruities with a trusty knife
Then eat them then and there with spoon and spice
And share them with thine husband, child or wife.

The morning cometh and thou mayest wish
A bowl of porridge mixed with last night's fruit,
But ‘ere ye taste this mix, take from the dish
Those morsels and an apron o'er thine suit

And seize therewith the blender and then pour
The fruit without a splash right to the top
Because to drink is better than to store
And with some Seltzer you have fruity pop.


Inspired by ridiculous mishearing while watching TV. Needless to say I had just prepared a fresh fruit salad.

Topic(s) of this poem: fruit

Poet's Notes about The Poem

Inspired by ridiculous mis-hearing while watching TV. Needless to say I had just prepared a fresh fruit salad.

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Poem Submitted: Friday, September 11, 2009

Poem Edited: Wednesday, September 24, 2014

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