Gain Back My Self Trust Poem by Ahtivah Lawton

(people who know me...this is just something that naturally came out when i started to write...not a true story..jus haad to let yall know)

His ingorance caught my attention on the primary glance even thought his attitude was so uncharming.
His annoying ways pushed my back up against the wall leaving me to have all my innocent ways fall.
But I fell for his stupidity to even have the audacity to make out with him - NO HAPPINESS but he was my epitamy.
My epitamy to even have love for him was confusing and sickening. But I even let him disrespect me not liking the disrespect but liking the disrespect developing this unwanted adjective called raunchy therefore thinking about opening myself up like a garbage can to likely give him some sex.
Not tryna to be fresh and rush into a period of caress but becoming vulnerable for testostorone...now addicted and afflicted to this hormone
But in the back of my thick skull head, was foreshadows and predictions of life long regrets and sinful depictions
Therefore finally I left, done with hit then kiss attack, thru with all of his claim of love, finish with my addiction to his drug.
Tryna forgive but never forget, but I will never forget the first time soft tender juicy kiss on my neck
So I think Im sober now, hopefully its true this time, maybe i wont give into his lust and I highly doubt that i will gain back my self trust