Getting Back Up Poem by Alyona Korovnik

Haven't written in a long time
My passion for life has fallen
Thinking I had it figured out
Planned it all out.
The man to marry, dream job.
Biggest mistake was putting God second in my life.
Not listening to Gods voice left me heart broken once again.
Chasing what I want and not what God has for me.
I still miss the man I thought I was going to marry.
The memories always kills, my heart keeps breaking, my soul keeps crying.
None ending dreams about our past love.
He moved on, has a knew love.
She's beautiful and makes him happy.
I'm happy for him.
He was my first in so many ways.
He taught me love between a women and a man.
Knowing I deserve so much more then the pain he kept causing.
Some days I think I'm over it while other days I break apart.
Nights are the worst.
I literally think my heart would stop from all the tears I cry.
One day I'll be over it and my heart will be ready to tell him goodbye.
Turning my focus where it belongs.
Leaving my heart in God's Hands.
Teaching myself to leave the pain in God's Hands.
His pain went deeper then mine ever did.
He understands my heart more then I.
I was angry at God, in the end I realized it was me who kept breaking my heart.