Growing Up Poem by Kaila George

Growing Up



Seven Years old
___________

I am insignificant to breath
I have been trodden on
Because I have no one that understands
My heart was broken into a million pieces
My soul defiled by monsters that lurk in the dark
How can one as young as I can even comprehend
The pain that as become apart of my life
Why does this happen...can you tell me why
I have family that cannot see what is happening to me
Its not their fault...the monsters have taught me well
To never make them angry or I will be dragged to their side of hell should I breath to anyone of their horrible games
My nightmare begins....

19 Years old
_________

I stand alone broken...not from my misfortune from the night before
But from a past that always haunted my dreams
A past that was pushed back to the recess of my mind
Forgotten...broken....hidden behind a wall of shame
Only to rekindle and blatantly slap me in my face
To remind me of the misery that I had suffered as a child
It was no longer a dream but became a reality
Hatred breathed within my soul....

28 years old
_________

Waking up in the blistering sun...yet again
I had found myself...abandoned and alone
In the back of a van wondering what was going on
I had drank to forget my misery and pain
What did I care....I was defiled with contempt back then
Why should I bother about what happened to me now
I hated myself...I hated what I had become...I hated a man
For making me this way....it built...smoldering...hatred
You never forget...you never forgive...it makes me strong
For all the wrong reasons...this life is a living hell....HELP

31 years old
__________

I was lonely till I meet a man
That made me see there are decent men
we had been together for six blissful years
And we tried to have children to make our lives whole
I actually thought I was barren...just like my namesake
But low and behold we had a beautiful boy...he changed my world
Then I asked him two years after baby was born...the father of my child...are you ready to commit
Took me all day to get out of him one simple word that buried my soul....NO
He was not ready to be a father yet...he was not ready to commit yet
Before we had started the conversation of old I told straight forward..should he say NO
I would pack all my things and leave his abode...if he is not ready yet then he cannot be a part of our lives...when he said no my heart broke in two
I walked out that door with my son and our things waved goodbye and never looked back
He told once he never expected that....if I say something once.... I just do it...don't you...smiles



51 years
_______

Looking on back at what I have done...I now realize I need to grow...not as a mother or responsible adult but as a person that needs to complete her being her soul

My son is a man now...doing is own...making a life that he wants for himself..he moved back with dad...kinda hurt me at first but then he needed to know just how much his dad loved him so...just like me I love that boy so...smiles

I know walk a path were I need to be on my own...just bidding my time so I can be...that person that I know I can be...smiles wish me luck

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