Guess Who Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

Well, this fellow did look like an ape
with a nose like an overgrown grape.
As he wandered about
some brown matter seeped out
he was unaware of the escape.

Diagnosis is simple, a man
who is filled to the ears with AllBran
will eventually poop
something looking like soup
and he drops it wherever he can.

This particular fellow consulted
a proctologist, which then resulted
in a tube up his azz
which dislodged methane gas
and the doctor was truly insulted.

He had said that his job was a writer
though he was just a silly nailbiter.
Said the doc, you must squeeze
both your thighs and both knees,
squeeze them tighter and tighter and tighter.