Guilt Poem by Gordon D Wilkinson

Away in a far off land
Actions for which I am damned
In a hot dusty desert town
Soldiering my life for the Crown
A baptism of fire and hell
Were we right? Who can tell?
Ambushed with nowhere to go
Bullets flying around to and fro
Ricochets and splinters zing
Making ears painfully sing
Three comrades down from a grenade
Lying twisted and torn no more to parade
Blood splattered life seeping to mother earth
What were these young lives worth?
Pain and death on this forsaken sand
It was the way this ambush was planned
Battling the enemy gets so intense
My anger explodes my common sense
Firing a magazine full without a pause
At figures dodging behind doors
One falls screaming in agony in death throws
Guilt rises at the battles close
Fifteen young men from both sides expired today
I took one of those lives away
Was it for duty or from fear?
In my eyes at this point there’s always a tear
Myself sometimes, I don’t want to be near
There on that blood stained land
Not the life I envisaged or planned
If you ask do I regret?
Yes, my friend I’ll never forget
Daily these thoughts invade my head
I know they always will, until I’m dead
Life is so imperfect for us all
Saving not taking should be the call



Note:
My ghost that I carry daily. I am not doing this for anyone else but me, thinking maybe it is a form of purging some of the guilt that I will always feel: