H8-2b-L8 Poem by Tommy Szamosi

I read the personalized plates on thousands of cars
on city streets & freeways where I spend many hours,
My grammatical routine keeps me amused and involved
to guess at the true meanings until they're all solved.

Some are more inventive, some just plain arcane,
Humanity rolling past on wheels - anything but mundane:
How long did people sit at home putting those words together?
Creating signs for public display to show they're oh so clever.

I've seen B-EYE-T-C-H, which of course does not spell 'itch',
And PH-AH-Q, (f-you) slid by DMV without a hitch,
Not to mention M-E-A-T-M-E, a butcher's unlikely slang,
Or 9-N-C-H-S-4-U, precursor to a big bang.

On the side of practical I saw H8-2-B-L8
And a pretty blue-eyed blonde who wrote: 1-S-2-B-L-8-D
Expressive words of wisdom said we're all: N-HIS- (plus 'Hand')
A 'Star' plus T-2-LIVE gives us a positive command.

An all-electric vehicle which sported: OUT-F-GAS,
More clever than a station wagon with: IM-DRGN-S.
42-N-HRNY was a cool dude's age and state of mind,
DUBL-DS are meant to please and leave the worries all behind.

Driving down the 101 NSASHBL caught my eye,
A pretty redhead behind the wheel of a Beemer 328i...
I flashed my lights and waved a smile, she in the rearview saw,
That my intentions were quite genuine, fully within the law.

What happened next was not a dream, I will attest to that -
It was the best twenty-four hours this man had ever had.
Beemer girl and I drove down to her pad right on the shore,
Champagne on ice and caviar, bearskin rug on the floor.

Flames were lapping logs within the hearth of the fire,
Miss Insatiable did quench my every wish & desire,
And so true to her plate's message she went on and on and on
My head was spinning round & round as night turned into dawn.

She made a breakfast feast, an asparagus ommelette at that,
Croissants and chilled orange juice were the table's welcome mat
My redhead friend (now lover) cooed sweet nothings in my ear,
She disrobed and promised sweetly that I had nothing to fear.

My strength replenished I did oblige the Beemer angel twice more,
As the clock struck ten I realized - I should be headed out the door.
To hit the road and the word-game that got me to this blessed place,
I thanked my NSASHBL nymph - whose memory I'll never erase.

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