Having A Few Words With My Self! Poem by Soha Bayat Kheradmand

And I walk slowly
Passing by the memories in my head
I walk and I know that once upon a time Ive been there
And once It had all been said

I some times pause and I deeply think
and in a minute or so I'll make it sink
I'll stand still for hours
And I can not blink!

I walk faster to pass it by
I some times run and never wonder why? !
And deep inside I know I'm scared
deep inside I'm scared to fade!

Oh! how I really want to scream the past away!
and Oh will I ever learn to start my day in a better way!

I some times feel that I am stuck
And theres no space for me to move!

Like I'm alone with a big and heavy rock
And I'm out of time and nothing left to prove!

I'm scared of thinking about the day I'm alone
Terrified of being on my own!
Feeling fear in my meat and bone!

I can honestly say, though with a deep shame
You can find me in the rain
You can hear the sound of my hands clapping!
Dancing with my pain!

Singing..
Singing how I cant..
How I want and never can!
How I'm always making excuses!
And How I had always ran!

words floating in the air
Mixed with my little affair
Hope! ! !
I'm Confused.. But I would'nt dare!

And like Ive shouted once before
I Screaaaaaam Even Once More

' Im ArtleSs Im proudleSs Even MindleSs Im ThoughtleSs
I'm UseleSs
I'm In a Deep Deep StreSs
I'm rootleSs -And Maybe Depressed? ! '
And all I Can hear Are words with leSs!

Counting...
And bingo! theres nothing that I can!

I'm running like a psycho
a lunatic
a maniac
From this side to the other!

Doubting...

And Godddd.. Or what ever we may call It

I want all my negative thoughts gone
I want to burn them for good.. I want to burn them with the sun!
For once, I want to have the true fun! - Not thinking 24 - 7 that I cant
I want to believe that I can

That I'm brave!
That Its okay to have a wave!

That I'm strong
That every one can sometimes be wrong!

That Its okay to make mistakes
That I'm proud that what ever I am I'm not like other fakes!

And I WILL make a better me!

And You can surely have my word
I WILL Let my soul free!

I'LL MAKE MY SELF PROUD TO BE ME!



Believe Me! Theres Nothing Better than being The True 'Me'! ! ! !


(Soha Bayat Kheradmand)