He Poem by Mariah Vincera

He was only a friend to me when I had lost myself
and I let him control me
I let him tell me I was nothing
He'd convinced me
I truly believed I was nothing
nothing that would have been missed

Hours.
I spent hours:
crying until there were no tears left
shaking cause I had no strength left
Hoping to win the battle
the battle that was burning a hole in me

I plotted.
suicide.
'Reasonable' he had told me
He cheered at the thought
because he didn't want me to see me be my best me

He'd tell me I wasn't hungry
as my body ached in famine
He'd told me I don't need friends
as I longed for hope
as I craved affection
as much as I'd wanted companionship
but he told me they sure as hell didn't need me

He'd evicted me from my mind
robbed me of my character
stripped me from my thoughts
made me vulnerable
He settled in my body

His name is Depression
He stole my joy
Made my lows hell
and eventually there was no high

I had let him change me
I'd obey him
and He was me

He convinced me a perfect god had made me,
his one mistake

He left me scarred
scarred because only I had known what he did to me
how he made me want to end it all
and I tried

but he won
not because I didn't die
but because he told me it had only just begun

I'd cry myself to sleep

My anger
My temper
they sharpened at his command

my character became my body's cry for help

He had to leave
So I worked on me

I am happy
I am strong
I am loved
I am cherished

I can't let him win
I won't let him win

Don't let him win

You can't let him win