Her Hair Is Like Root Beer Licorice Poem by Shannon Walker
Her Hair Is Like Root Beer Licorice
Ephemeral;
Sheets over the windows...
Ephemeral;
Murmurs when the wind blows...
Ephemeral;
Whimpering and she blows...
Until the sheets all fall off the windows.
Ephemeral;
Embers over everything...
Ephemeral;
Ashes flying, the crows sing...
Ephemeral;
Cravings around his heart ring...
And then she
Rides that mule out the window.
Ephemeral;
Waters lying low and black...
Ephemeral;
Bliss and an audible crack...
Ephemeral;
Shivers and the bloody tracks
As he
Presses his face to the window.
Ephemeral;
A sidelong panicked glance...
Ephemeral;
To the fluttering valance...
Ephemeral;
And just maybe one more chance...
To keep her
From flying back out the window.
Shannon, I like several of the images here (lines 9,11,14-15) . Not sure that repetition of ephemeral works; in fact, cutting it might tighten the poem. Line 17, you've used the wrong word, should be lying. Nothing makes a reader distrust a poet more than a usage error! However, lots of potential to this poem. If you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/5/2024 6:35:09 AM # 1.0.0.1119
You had me at the title. I am, however, a big fan of repetition. This reads like a song or a choral reading. I like it, a lot.