Hitler's Funeral Arrangements Poem by Sheena Blackhall

In the dying throes of the war
Trapped like a rat in his bunker in Berlin
Hitler shot himself. His new wife swallowed cyanide
Their death room smelled of almonds, cyanide's trade mark
Their bodies were hoisted up through the bunker's exit
‘Humanitarianism is the expression of stupidity and cowardice'

In the bomb-torn garden behind the Chancellery,
The megalomaniac was wrapped in a Nazi flag,
His body, drenched withgasoline, set on fire.
‘If you want to shine like sun
First you have to burn like it'

It burned all afternoon
Soviet shells fell whining all around
What was left of the monster
Was dumped in a shell crater,
Covered up like yesterday's rubbish
‘Conscience is a Jewish invention'

A Soviet Army soldier hoping for treasure
Spied an area of soil, recently disturbed
Digging, his shovel hit bone. The pay dirt was Hitler's dog
Its master's remains were exhumed unceremoniously

The Russians moved his body outside Berlin
Re-buried him near the town of Rathenau
Later, moved to a garrison in Magdeburg.

A KGB officer was selected for his disposal
A team of three, disguised as fishermen
They trio drove to the mountains,
Stopped at a cliff beside a tiny stream.
In a place screened by the trees,
They lit two campfires.
One to make soup.
The other, to re-burn Hitler
The KGB leader called this second cremation
‘A waste of a can of gasoline'

They dumped the ashes into a rucksack,
Opened it out on the cliff
And scattered Evil to the four winds
A kinder end than Hitler'd given millions