Hopelessness Poem by John Thorkild Ellison

Numb with pain as my good friends die
I'd weep if there were any tears left to cry -
You must be blind if you wonder why
I'm looking at life with a jaundiced eye.

I remember when I was a teenage boy
That life was a mixture of pain and joy,
But sweet, sweet pleasure can start to cloy,
It's a frame of mind God loves to destroy.

Sometimes I consider suicide
Because the return of my love is always denied,
No-one can number the tears I've cried
And all that prevents me is my stubborn pride.

I gave you my love like an innocent child,
Your looks and behaviour had completely beguiled
Me, I was lost to the world whenever you smiled,
Why is it that innocence is always defiled?

Nothing is left but a desolate space
Where I once looked with love on your beautiful face,
There are bones and detritus in this hellish place
And all that remains is death and disgrace.