How Often Have I? Poem by Danny Speicher

How often have I gone into battle
With swords brandished on my own, without You
Selfishly fighting battles for myself
Attempting to blaze my own path, anew

How often have I, in desperation
Held out my bloody hand to shake in oath
With the devil I have sworn to defeat
Letting You and Your creation down, both

Yet, Lord, if I might, be granted mercy
I don't deserve it, unworthy am I
May I remember to follow your voice
Though I may not hear it, desperately try

For, though my actions are often contrast
From that which my heart beats from deep within
I still believe in Your plan and Your hope
And I seek You even when my hope runs thin

Lord, grant me a safe rescue from harm's way
Though I may feel the cold wind of defeat
I know that You still reign in victory
So, in You, I will never sound retreat

Lord, forgive me the destruction I've caused
The trusting blood spilled on the courtyard's floor
Pride and fear paradoxically collide
Lord, I'll look forward, and back nevermore

Thank You for Your loving grace, quiet peace
I know there will be days of struggle still
But, in these times when I feel Your embrace
I find strength for Your plans to fulfill

And, as each day passes, make me stronger
Make me more like You, loving without fear
When I'm strong, inspire my feet to move
And, Lord, when I'm weak, let me know You're near

((May 17th,2008))