Hunting In Hollywood Poem by David Welch

Sweet, little blond thing,
just off the plane from Kentucky,
she's a solid seven, no higher,
painful to listen to her
reciting lines out loud.
Wants to be an actress,
fresh-faced and eighteen,
just have to dangle bait,
a few bit parts on a sit-com,
walks into the trap, doesn't resist
just takes of her top…

Thirty-something Asian actress,
has played the ‘best friend'
several times, wants a
leading part. She's afraid
her career has stalled,
doesn't know what to do next.
Her agent tells me he
told her to be ‘nice' to
the producers, and they'll
be nice back. Looks ashamed
as she unbuttons her jeans…
I love that look…Such easy prey…

Forty-four-year-old pin-up blond,
has graced men's magazines
and summer blockbusters.
Lines form around her eyes,
the roles stop coming
but she has a mansion,
and an ex-husband on alimony,
needs to work.
"Let's get this over with, "
she says, walking right
into my sights…

You asked about hunting…
Wait, you men those people
who go out and shoot deer?
Bunch of monsters, vicious
backwoods hicks. Thankfully
we have evolved past that…