Hygiene Is Important Poem by John W. McEwers

I once went a week without eating
then a week without moving
bowels

It was a juice cleanse
or some fad
that was more fashion statement

By the end I had lost seventeen pounds
and slept for days.

The sweet smells of my clammy night sweats
had attracted a legion of bed bugs,
parading their military might across my near-corpse.

I hear folks tell tales of bed bugs like nightmares
like a plague on their house
like the death of their firstborn

I know how it happens though
and you have to be pretty gross.