I Always Wondered... Poem by Jay'Reeona Collins

I always wondered what is it like to die
I should know....

As many times I tried to kill myself
And for how long I've been battling Depression
I should know......

I do though....
Its cold and eternally pitch black
Its numb easy, and painless like turning a smile into a frown
Its having all the weight upon your shoulders but still feeling as light as a feather
Its having to fight so hard that you still end up with Battle Scars

I always wondered what is it like to die
I should know....

I figured out that it's easier to die and harder to live
So why do we go through all this trouble to live
When dying is easier

I know why....
Other people's company brings so much joy,happiness, love and passion
But they are so naive....
Other people's company brings pain, animosity, melancholy, insanity, destruction and death
Why bother to truly love someone when they will cause you so much pain....

It's like Romeo and Juliet but instead of 2 star crossed lovers dying out of the hate of others
Only one dies....
That person dies of false hopes and dreams and painful memories

When they take that last swig of Jack Daniels
They start to change and turn into an animals
Then they decide to overdose and write a letter
That says how they couldn't make it and wish things were better

I always wondered what is it like to die
I should know....
But I do though;
Because I have tried
And I have died.