I Am Far Away From Where I Am Poem by Shalom Freedman

I AM FAR AWAY FROM WHERE I AM

I am far away from where I am-
I often am-
It is not that there are two sides of me
Or three or four
It is not that I know anything about who
My real self is-

I suppose ‘I am' all the time I am conscious
And what that means I also don't know-
There are so many questions and so many questions -

I am here now
I am writing this
Soon I will be on my way to Minchah
I have done the shopping today
And walked from ‘Rami Levi' in the rain
My wife and I have talked and talked
About many things
I spoke with my daughter also
This afternoon I will meet with a friend
Another ailing friend will have to wait next week for a visit-
I know that all the details of a life
Do not tell us what a self is,
But without our histories
What are we?

I felt that I was far away from where I am when I began this poem,
Now I don't know exactly where I am-
Far or not-

I am just sitting writing here
A rainy day in spring
And nearly seventy years behind me-

My real self is a question
And I will ask it I suppose as long as I continue thinking
On this earth -

I don't mind not knowing
I after all assume I do know-

Life has many contradictions
And unsolved questions-

Who we really are even to ourselves
Is one of them-

Thank God there has been so much Love and Goodness
From other people in my life
And that there is still now.