I Am Nothing Poem by Danny Ballan

I cannot forget you;
I dare not call myself a man anymore;
A man enough to have kept you;
A man enough to dare forget you;
I cannot forget you.

I wandered the land where my feet took me
Searching all over the place
For a woman rightly-so called;
For a woman that, you, can replace.
Silly were all the stories told.
My feet took me far and wide,
But my heart has always stayed behind;
Stayed where it belongs by your side.

Here I am, here and there and back again
Fighting the ghosts of my false existence;
Wondering when this charade would stop.
Since I said you truly did not love me enough,
All was but lies pretending to have covered the truth
That my life would never get any better;
That I never cared if you did not love me;
Anyway, I've always been ready to love you forever.

My hands ceased to recognize the taste of life-
No more after the sweet roses on your skin
Cascaded on my fingertips and there I let you slip;
I let you slip and my eyes can touch no more
The sweet perfume of your bare self is gone.
My ears can sense no sweet voices no more.
What could my tears ever wash?
What false pride could ever bear?
That there you were,
And that I, I have always been there?
Going about my life
Just pretending I was elsewhere?
Which man in me could finally confess?
That with you gone, everything was gone;
That with all the people around,
And I feel totally alone.

Which hope could this mess ever cleanse?
With my wounds have been oozing ever since.
I stood up and decided I was a man
-If man can turn his heart a stone,
and destine himself to be alone-
Yes, I have decided to be a man,
And a man I was;
Except that without you,
Man or not,
I am nothing.