'I Am The Harbinger Heralded By This Age' - Poem by Purushottam Dhakal
A moment's desire
The copulation made a shape
And I was made
My form was devised before ejaculation
And unexpected, I arrived
As a son, as a daughter
Into innumerable dreams and desires
I got divided
To deal according to the relation
And I too participated
In the destinies' play
My little dream grew
And blossomed in unconscious mind and body
My innumerous dreams started blooming
In the place and the world I never traveled
I started to speak the fiery flames
Bu the hearts started burning with me
Why did this happen?
Very quickly, I became a past, present and future
But I could not bloom, I could not open myself
The next series of meetings
The next series of bonding
The next moment of desires
Before reaching the grave
The copulation created another figure
And it its continuity
Untold but similar stories
The next unwritten page of story
Who am I after all?
A page of a story to be written?
Only the age I live?
My yesterday of dedication?
The barrier that I did not cross?
A lover, a husband, a father, a son
What a relation?
I burn but that doesn't
A desire and the hunger to claim mine!
I, a man, only to live an age
Why doesn't it burn when I do
That relation of a lover, son, and a father?
Who I am after all?
A lover, a husband, a father or a son
Or someone who comes and goes
Am I the righteousness or the opposite
Living this cursed life to satisfy someone else's desire?
Am I a voice for someone?
Or just a visitor serving some others' purpose?
Am I a gift for someone or a curse?
Honour or an insult?
I, someone dying an unfulfilled death
A lover, a husband, a father, and a son
I come and go without my choice
But even after my death
Those in my possession remain
As a lover, husband, father and a son
And in my absence
Am I still a man?
Or someone in relation to others?
Who am I after all?
Or a moment's desire
A body that takes a shape through copulation
In my curiosity
I am an unresolved consciousness
An existence after the intercourse
That flows nowhere as the elixir
That bloom nowhere as the golden dreams
The love-ocean to be found nowhere
That only gets divided by other's choice
What is my existence?
Only a body or a benchmark
That can be divided according to the desire
Even after my death?
If it is so, am I unrighteous?
Is unrighteousness the benchmark of a man?
Listen to my announcement
There will be a dharma-yuddha
And a love-war too
And that harbinger is heard at a distant horizon
And I am beginning of the truth
To be integrated in the love-war
Where you don't need to win, nor lose
No tears, but flows the elixir
An age I am, a man
Whom the people passing through the golden dreams
Swimming across the love-ocean
For a eternal departure to the grave
Hum in their music the love for humanity
With no beginning or the end
I am the harbinger heralded by this age!
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