I Am What I Am Poem by Jackie Allen

I Am What I Am

Rating: 4.7


When I was but a wee child,
two or three or more,
I dreamed that I could fly like a butterfly.
Over the mountains,
on wings of adventure
I sought out branches of laurel
and like a fairy,
I crowned my head with a ring of joy.

High above, when the clouds
up in the sky began to darken, began to cry,
I wished, at ten or so, that I was as small
as a mouse, so that I could scamper
into the rhubarb patch
and hide beneath their umbrella-like leaves,
munching on their juicy red stems,
making mouse-like noises.

Early in my teens,
when I’d grown into a young girl
I wanted to pass
for twenty-two, or twenty-three.
Like bubbles in champagne,
I dreamed of tickling my fancy, buying new clothes,
and I started acting like I knew
far more than I did.

When I grew up,
had children of my own, I dreaded birthdays,
wished that I was younger,
though, in truth, I didn’t want
to go through it all again. Still I had
no doubts about my husband nor my children,
just that none of the mirrors
had any saving grace.

Having reached a certain age,
wiser and more sure of myself,
no longer do I wish for, covet, or dream
about things that once held positions of regret.
The person that I am today
is comprised of all the things I’ve done and
seen and been. Is there anyone who can say
they have such a friend?

POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
The inspiration for this poem came as a result of remembering how my grandfather was the only one I ever knew that used the word 'wee' frequently and fluently. The poem just naturally flowed from there. After writing it, I searched for an image to go along with it, finding one of an elderly Appalachian woman sitting in a chair, in front of her weathered board home, the chickens near by, and she proudly displaying a 'crazy' quilt she had made. Also, I had just watched American Experience on TV, where one of Harrison Keeler's guests mentioned that she thought the word' rhubarb' a metaphor for 'having-finding fun in your own back yard.' Rhubarb has 'stalks' but 'stems' seemed a better word for the second stanza's reference to umbrellas.
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Yasmin Khan 20 March 2015

How masterly you have traced the different stages of human life till a 'certain age'! In verse four a conflict of human mind has been depicted. We are satisfied with the present but at the same time we suffer from nostalgia. Life is full of conflicts. Your poem is realistic and inspirational.

2 0 Reply
Charu Gandhi 02 October 2021

Thank you for your appreciation of my poem.

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Jacqueline D Allen 11 November 2015

Thank you, most kindly, Yasmeen Khan for your generous comments.

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Wahab Abdul 02 October 2013

wonderful poetry, a confessional poem, vividly narrated with chosen phrases..many can relate with this poem.. enjoyed.. aw

1 0 Reply
Jacqueline D Allen 11 November 2015

Wahab Abdul...apologies for being so late in responding with my thanks.

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Valerie Dohren 20 June 2013

Also being a lady of a certain age, I can relate to this - a very wise write Jackie, well crafted.

1 0 Reply
Jacqueline D Allen 11 November 2015

Appreciate your read and like, Valerie Dohren.

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Jacqueline D Allen 11 November 2015

Valerie Dohren, apologies for being so late in responding with my thanks.

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