I Can Remember - Poem by James Grengs
I can remember walking through vast meadows of the mind,
The sun shining on us, granting us sight to see the glory of what we were feeling.
I remember whispered promises,
Though they are all now broken and cast at my feet.
I can remember happy days, which I prayed would never end:
My prayers lie alongside our whispered promises,
Empty and unanswered and worthless in the dust.
I can remember loving you, and promising that that would never change.
That alone could grant me back my life, now.
But all the love I gave, you kept for yourself,
And cast back to me in a broken heap.
I never asked for your own love,
But rather that you simply accept my own.
But that you never did,
And now all my pleasant memories are demons,
All I ever gave you, I take back now,
Except my love-
That I must still give you, though I wish it otherwise.
I wish I could take that, as well,
But I have promised you my love,
And you have it,
Though not all;
I have still the broken remnants of that which you cast back at me,
Without caring for what I felt,
But only what you felt.
Without trying to feel the same,
But only accepting what came easily.
I came easily, I remember-
But ever you held back.
Take me, I begged you,
Yet you never did.
I can remember you saying that we were the obvious conclusion.
Yet you turned your back on that. Why?
Why would you keep your fears for yourself?
I would have taken them away-
I can remember the feeling that I felt when you told me of your fears-
I wished that I could remove them far from you,
But you will not allow me,
And you keep them-
I suppose they allow you to better justify the path you have chosen,
Away from me.
I can remember you wishing that you could fall in love with me,
Yet you never tried to. Why?
What was it that I could not provide you? Happiness?
I would die if that might make you happy, you know that.
I can remember telling you that,
Hoping you might realize the depth of what I felt for you;
But you never realized it,
And turned away without ever feeling the depths of my love.
All my memories have turned to dust,
And though I remember our promises,
They mean nothing to you,
And therefore mean nothing.
I can remember when they meant something to you.
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