James Grengs

Rookie (10.31.86 / Attleboro, MA)

I Can Remember - Poem by James Grengs

I can remember walking through vast meadows of the mind,
The sun shining on us, granting us sight to see the glory of what we were feeling.
I remember whispered promises,
Though they are all now broken and cast at my feet.
I can remember happy days, which I prayed would never end:
My prayers lie alongside our whispered promises,
Empty and unanswered and worthless in the dust.
I can remember loving you, and promising that that would never change.
That alone could grant me back my life, now.
But all the love I gave, you kept for yourself,
And cast back to me in a broken heap.
I never asked for your own love,
But rather that you simply accept my own.
But that you never did,
And now all my pleasant memories are demons,
Nightmares,
Haunting me.
All I ever gave you, I take back now,
Except my love-
That I must still give you, though I wish it otherwise.
I wish I could take that, as well,
But I have promised you my love,
And you have it,
Though not all;
I have still the broken remnants of that which you cast back at me,
Without caring for what I felt,
But only what you felt.
Without trying to feel the same,
But only accepting what came easily.
I came easily, I remember-
But ever you held back.
Take me, I begged you,
Yet you never did.
Why?
I can remember you saying that we were the obvious conclusion.
Yet you turned your back on that. Why?
Why would you keep your fears for yourself?
I would have taken them away-
I can remember the feeling that I felt when you told me of your fears-
I wished that I could remove them far from you,
But you will not allow me,
And you keep them-
I suppose they allow you to better justify the path you have chosen,
Away from me.
I can remember you wishing that you could fall in love with me,
Yet you never tried to. Why?
What was it that I could not provide you? Happiness?
I would die if that might make you happy, you know that.
I can remember telling you that,
Hoping you might realize the depth of what I felt for you;
But you never realized it,
And turned away without ever feeling the depths of my love.
And now,
All my memories have turned to dust,
And though I remember our promises,
They mean nothing to you,
And therefore mean nothing.
I can remember when they meant something to you.


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Read poems about / on: remember, happy, happiness, change, alone, love, sun, memory, hope, fear



Poem Submitted: Saturday, January 22, 2005



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