I Cry, I Smile Poem by Eric Zinbabora Batung

I'm awoken by the bite of a fire ant.
With anger and aversion I brush my face.
Weary and tired I trudge through the dark room.
Through the porch the sky vents its spleen on my eyes.
I shut my eyes and turn around to embrace the darkness.
The tap will not flow; neither will the lights be turned on.
The milk, Milo and Nido tins are empty
With only two cubes of sugar sitting there in the box
Hopeful of surviving yet another day.

I dress up and comb my hair and beard,
Look myself in the broken dressing mirror on the cracked wall
And I see my own drooping face and exhausted body
Draped in a crumpled shirt and a pair of trousers
Ready to dash into the city center in search of yet another job.
I look at myself again in the dressing mirror
And I CRY and my tears run down my cheeks in hushed competition.
Each trying to escape this weary body.
As if humiliated by my state and roll off away to a better place.

I look again at myself in the dressing mirror.
Then I SMILE, I smile, yes I smile
Just to taunt myself,
So that my courage will not be drained,
So that my heart will not break,
So that I will be steady enough to move on
To give myself a reason to live on,
Because beyond where I stand I see my tears drying up
And my smile graduating into laughter.