I Had To Chose... Poem by sahar alameddine

i thought the best part is when i got married to you
as we're about to become three my dream will come true
i'll have this child who is a part from me and you
he will be the key that reminds me how much i love you

3 months passed and it's the time to know
a girl or a boy the test is about to show
it doesn't matter anyway all we wanted is to see
the first picture of our precious baby

as we were smiling happily hand by hand
shocking news we couldn't stand
the baby will born sick with issues
as my tears poured drowning all the tissues

nothing we can do nothing between our hands
it's not a normal wound that we could have mend
the doctor gave this advice of abortion
this word gave my mind a torsion

killing my baby? ? ?
that part of me? ?
should i let him come?
oh how i am numb! !

giving birth of a non normal child
i'm the cause of his illness? what kind of pride?
i'll keep on blaming myself for this
and death? that's what he'll wish

my baby is born now surrounded by kids
they kept on teasing him for being like this
what's wrong if he's special just like u're not
he didn't come to life to face a plot! ! !

as all these ideas came up to my mind
i smiled to the doctor with confidence inside
I've chosen abortion instead of having him dead
society's eyes will kill him that will drive me mad

i think my religion is against this will
i have a special case made me my baby kill
god has given me this sign to chose
and I've chosen the best to do not all lose