I Had To Sell The Gold Rolls-Royce! Poem by Denis Martindale

I had to sell the gold Rolls-Royce to pay the monthly bill!
I didn't really have much choice, that's why it made me ill.
And what a whopping bill it was for electricity!
And larger still, and all because of things like my TV.
While on a tariff once thought great, now heating costs a lot
And at this brand-new current rate, that put me in a spot.
My cherished Rolls has gone for good, I'll not see her again,
This status in my neighbourhood was envied until then.
I wiped away my tears and paid the TV tax as well,
And now feel bitter and dismayed, as my life's gone to hell.
I'll have to travel on a bus, yet that now costs much more,
With my bad back, that's not a plus, and I've learned that before.

January's made me wary of more bad things to come,
It's bad enough with V.A.T., as that's a tidy sum.
I've got no stocks, I've got no shares, no grants to help me out,
I wonder why nobody cares! Ain't that what life's about?
I've seen a moped that I like, but it's too cold to ride,
I can't afford a motorbike, and I'm choked up inside.
I wonder. Should I emigrate! ? And sell my mansion, too! ?
Valentine's Day was once first-rate, but now I'm feeling blue!
The girlfriend wants a new fur coat, yet I'm not keen on that.
I know she only wants to gloat, but I'll get her a hat.
I must not use my credit card! It's now the time to plan!
So, from now on, I'll stay on guard, as only skinflints can!


Denis Martindale. The 8th of January 2026.