I Had Trouble Walking Today Poem by For Matilde

How can I breathe your beauty
through this suffocated life
blind worms see no more than this
feel the damp leaves
as you emerge
from the earth
there is no art or music in your head
If you lose part of your body
you make yourself new
your brain is a simple loop
without anguish
without hope
without long avenues of vanishing trees
you breath through your skin
which is kept moist only to live
you pass through dead silent eyes
and down the hollow corridors of bones
around the cold statues of the dead
I, on the other hand, have no chance of regeneration
I can only breathe your beauty in episodes
in seasons of flowers and a fatal melodic light

I had trouble walking today.
If I cannot walk how will I be able to come to the door
On second thoughts I will leave it open in case you return
If I cannot walk how will I carry you when you are sick.
If I cannot walk how will I get up and smile as I leave this bus
Through the window the ocean stays silent keeping all its words to itself
Today I walked past old men slouched on benches in the street.
Their diaphragms were tired and felt like wet shoes.
All the words had left them sucked like dead wingless birds into the ocean
Instead they spoke only the sewage of the dying.
I had trouble walking today.
I wanted to go back to the sea - climb into its womb
wait until its waters break and cycads return to the land