I Have Been Trying

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Hello my love, i have been trying to leave you lately, but it seems its not so easy for me. I have explained myself alot, i prayed alot not to be over sentemental on you, but you know what my dear. It hurts when i see you loving someone hopelessly and madely. I do understand its the heart thing that you cannot control as the same way i can't control myself. i dont know how long will it take me, but i think i might die this way and i am sacred i will die unhappy cos i cant find happiness apart from you. To tell you the truth i have tried to be happy without you but i have failed quite a lot of time, now i have given up tryin to be happy, cos i know it not without you. I see you happy when you take his name but i go burning all alone to ashes. May be i wont get to be with you, but i will always pray that whether you are witout me, you live happy.
I will try to walk away cos its not hard to live this way and no one understands my pain, and i understand them too cos its my pain and my love for you which i have to carry till the end.
Afraid to shead to my tears but it helplessly fall, I wish a lot of things but its always a you always My Billi
Friday, August 12, 2011

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